How We Guilt Out Of Ease
No, you don’t have to do it all
The title of this article sounds privileged and reeks of insensitivity. Not everyone can afford hired assistance to maintain their homes.
How dare I insinuate such?
That’s fair.
Now ask yourself if there’s any area of your life — any at all — where you’ve guilted yourself or even others from employing “short-cuts" that make life easier.
Your area of privilege may not be assisted house care. But it could be a number of things that you refuse to use because of pride. Our society dictates that those who suffer are rich in character. If you have a rags to riches story — or currently struggle — you’re a well of knowledge and tried and true wisdom.
But we negelct the obvious: in western society we all have varying degrees of privilege that look different because of intersectionality. And the word “privilege” has been a sounding board for so many underserved communities that we fail to understand our own privilege within those said communities.
Accepting The Support Of Community
Today’s podcast is so much more than what we can afford financially. It is about the ways we deserve ‘ease.’
We feel guilty for taking wellness days from work. About leaving the baby with a trusted family friend. For taking a few hours every day for personal self care. Yes. Every. Single. Day.
We judge others who put themselves first because we haven’t found ways to engage ease in our own lives. It’s taboo because we’ve vilanized stillness and rewarded burn out.
For instance, several black female YouTubers have spoken about hiring nannies and utilizing weekly house cleaners. The demographic that’s often seen as “the help” is now privileged enough to employ help!You’d think the backlash would stem from them “flexing" this privilege (which they weren’t). Instead they spoke about the shame heaped on them for not engaging in these areas of maintenance by themselves, on their own. Why? Because we’re accustomed to seeing others do it all. We (society) are accustomed to doing it all. This should be normal, right? Wrong. It’s actually exhausting.
I believe we should all actively seek to engage in ease. I believe in frequent bouts of stillness. I believe in vacationing often, even if it’s a staycation, even if it’s a trip to the beach or camping.
We complain of time and how little we have of it, how opportunity just isn’t there. But ask yourself, how many times have you passed up a trip to the beach, a relaxing drive or help because you think of all you CAN be doing?
Now ask yourself why.
You cannot pour from an empty cup
Utilizing the human resources around us, tapping into what benefits us and creating a life of comfort is taboo when it comes to the little things.
But it’s those little things that lend to a life of joy. It’s priceless. Well, not really.
It requires we admit that we’re insufficient in some ways. That we’re not superman or wonderwoman.
It requires we admit we’re human.
The upside to that is the sheer measure of wellness we can in turn not just pour into others but also into ourselves.
There’s no greater gift than this: a life well lived.
